By Michael J. McHugh, Esq. and Teresa S. Cole, Esq.
When a partner with Gender Dysphoria shares that information with their spouse, not always, but frequently, a divorce will follow. In such cases, the best process by far for the couple is the Collaborative Process.
Several aspects of the Collaborative Process are especially well suited to cases where one spouse is transitioning. First and foremost is the supportive team of mental health professionals who can help both clients navigate their new circumstances. While the transgender spouse has likely gone through a long path of self-acceptance before telling the cisgender spouse of their Gender Dysphoria, the cisgender spouse may be questioning the entire marriage and everything they thought they knew about their spouse, all the while trying to absorb and process the enormity of the changes ahead. Even if the cisgender spouse is accepting of their spouse’s newly revealed gender identity, they may have substantial concerns regarding the children. In these cases, the use of a coach and a child specialist to help both spouses address these issues in a safe setting has no parallel in any other process.
A second aspect of the Collaborative Process that works especially well in these cases is the strict confidentiality with which all information is treated. Both the transgender and cisgender spouse have substantial concerns about what information is shared with outside parties, both from a professional and a personal standpoint, and knowing that the parties are in full control of all sensitive information provides the safe setting they need in order to discuss issues that are of greatest importance to their family.
Finally, all Clients in the Collaborative Process are treated with the utmost respect in an atmosphere that is free of threats, intimidation, and micro-aggressions; Clients deserve the right to have their concerns heard, and to be addressed by their preferred names and pronouns. For these reasons, and many more, the Collaborative Process is the best process for any couple where one of the clients is transitioning.