(1) Experienced Professionals
In a collaborative divorce, you work with a team of professionals who all specialize in their particular practice area. Lawyers for both parties are well-versed in divorce law. Financial professionals are the experts on the money “stuff.” Coaches are mental health professionals who know best how to handle the emotional aspects of your divorce. A child specialist is a mental health professional who knows how divorce affects families and children and how to best address these effects in a workable settlement. This aspect of a collaborative divorce means you are getting a professional with a wealth of knowledge in their area of expertise to assist you during one of the most difficult transitions for your family.
(2) Child Inclusivity
I often have parents ask how their children can express an opinion or share their thoughts in a non-collaborative case. When the case is litigated, my answer most of the time is “we can have them testify in court if we need to, but we want to try to avoid that unless it is absolutely necessary.” In a negotiated case, there may be no real space for the children to express their ideas or concerns outside of what they share with their parents.
In a collaborative divorce, the parties can engage a child specialist. The child specialist will meet with the parties’ children, allowing the children to have some voice in the process.
(3) Family-Focused Approach
At some point during most collaborative consultations, I express that in the collaborative process, the goal is to find a resolution that works for the family, as that is an important feature of the process that is unique from a non-collaborative divorce. Oftentimes in a non-collaborative divorce, the parties have adversarial goals and do not consider long-term effects of the decisions they make during the divorce process. During the collaborative process, the parties are offered a space in which they can assess what is going to work best for their family moving forward, because regardless of whether or not mom and dad are still living in the same house, they are connected as a type of family unit for the rest of their lives.
(4) Space for Communication
What occurs time and time again in my non-collaborative cases is that we get a settlement proposal from the other spouse’s attorney and my client asks me “Why do they want to do that?” or “Why are they proposing that?” My answer is usually “I can guess (and eventually ask), but I don’t know for sure.”
The collaborative process provides parties with a space where they can directly discuss the “why” behind their thoughts and ideas on a settlement or a particular issue.
(5) Teamwork
There is a phrase that I think is particularly apt for the collaborative process – “two heads are better than one.” In the collaborative process, sometimes we involve 3, 4, or 5 “heads.” This provides for a wealth of creative solutions to unique problems, or various options for the parties to consider about what might work for their family moving forward.
A collaborative divorce has many benefits. If you want more information about whether or not the collaborative divorce process may be beneficial for you and your family, reach out to a collaborative professional today!